I'm Scared My Husband is Going to Leave Me - Tips and Advice That May Help









I recently received a pretty heartbreaking email from a wife who felt that in the next few days, her husband was going to leave her. The two of them had just not been getting along due partly to the stress of their financial situation. They both were at their wit's end, but the wife was willing to stick it out and work on the marriage, and the husband was not. He had been alluding to packing his bags and leaving. She suspected that he would promptly file for divorce not long after that.

The wife was beside herself. She stressed that she "could not live without" her husband and did not know how she could survive without his love and support. She was trying to come up with a plan to convince him to stay. But she was meeting a lot of resistance. She had tried reasoning with him. She had tried debating. She had tried guilt. And, recently she was contemplated begging. Basically, she told me that she was willing to "do whatever it took" to keep him from walking out the door.

She wanted my advice as to what might work best to convince him not to leave her. I will tell you what I told her in the following article.

Even If You're Scared That He's Going To Leave You, Do not Let The Fear Drive You: I have to get this out of the way and just say it. Fear is not a trait that is generally perceived to be attractive. The truth was, this wife had already laid her cards on the table numerous times. She had made it very clear that she did not want to live without her husband and was not sure if she could. So, continuing to tell him this was no more likely to drive the point home than the numerous previous tries.

Honestly, I felt that the desperation and fear that she was wearing on her sleeve was only making her situation worse. I dialogue with so many men in this situation and they almost always tell me that this type of behavior only wants to make them leave that much faster.

When I told the wife this, she responded with "well, do you think I should play hard ball then and tell him to just leave that that's what he wants to do? leaving is my worst case scenario. " No actually that was not what I was suggesting. Because this strategy will also bring about the negative emotions and reactions that you want to avoid.

Instead, you want to focus on things that are going to bring about some relief and some positive emotions. You have to set it up so that you're luring him toward you rather than pushing him away with tactics that are only going to make him want to escape the situation.

You're Better Off Appearing Rational And In Control: I know that this might be difficult, but your best bet is to change tactics and try to be rational and non threatening so that it's no longer necessary for him to continue to avoid or thwart you . And I felt that the wife needed to make the first move to give her husband a glimpse of her new tactic. Yes, she was going to talk about him leaving her. But she was going to go about it in a new way.

I wanted for her to calmly sit and down and tell him that she suspected that he was considering leaving. She was then to ask if there was anything that she could do to make the situation better. I also suspected quite sturdy that the husband was going to continue to resist and assert that it's been too late and there was nothing that she could do.

However, instead of responding like she always did, I wanted for her to show a bit of restraint. And rather than begin her speech about how she could not live without him and how wrong it was for him to leave, I wanted for her to just state that though she was very sorry for hear that, she only wanted for things to improve between them. If he needed some time and space for that to happen, then so be it. She was not to be angry or desperate. I sincerely wanted for her to state the facts and to come off as empathetic.

Basically, I wanted for her to get the point across that she only wanted both of them to be happy - preferably together. I wanted for her to leave the impression that she was no longer going to fight with him. Yes, this may be scary and risky. But the reason that we do this is because it allows us more access to them (which we very much need) during this process.

And in the days to come, we are going to move slowly and use this to our full advantage. The real goal is not to try to talk him into something that he's not receptive to right now. The real goal should be to change his perceptions so that he's looking at you, and the marriage, in an entirely different way at the end of this process. You must show him the strong, rational, and laid back side of yourself rather than the needy and desperate one right now.









0 comments

  • How to Start an Event Planning Business Through the communication benefits, networking opportunities, and educational components of regular corporate events and conventions, it becomes quite evident that businesses and organizations rely on their regular events. Hosting and attending…
  • Better Than a Sample Cover Letter - Job Applications That Recruiters Can not Put Down I do not mean to dis the sample cover letter. Job applications demand cover letters. And samples give you a format, a way to get past a blank page. That can be very useful. Just do not make the mistake of thinking they are enough. Simply put…
  • Higher Education as Service Trade Exporter In South Africa Introduction Whilst it is recognized that South Africa is still in a process of transition regarding higher education to address the imbalances of the past, it should also be emphasized that Institutions of Higher Education in large are still…
  • Naughty Text Sex - 5 Text Messages That Will Get Your Woman In The Mood And Ready For Sex Imagine the following scenario: You come home from a hard day at work and as soon as you open the front door - your woman leaps into your arms, with a HUGE SMILE ON HER FACE. Her smile then turns to a cheeky grin and she KISSES YOU…
  • Mechanical Engineering Design: The Role of DFM and DFAWhat is Design for Manufacturing?Essentially, DFM refers to the best practices being followed in the design of end products, parts and machine components which greatly reduces the cost of manufacture because it takes care of several factors…